cultured.....milk?

Definition of a cultured person:
  • Dresses impeccably - i wear shorts to shopping malls how?
  • Watches classical theatre performances like “The Phantom Of the Opera” -i wear shorts to shopping malls how?
  • Listens to Beethoven - i do
  • Reads Shakespeare, - as if u understand
  • Dines with the right utensils in the right hands, - fork left, knife right
  • Chews their food with their mouths close, - unless im talking hehe
  • Don’t overload their plates at a buffet, - no way jose, i paid for it..as long i can stack it high, go for it
  • Does not slurps loudly when having their soup, - somehow slurrrrp makes the soup tastier
  • Drinks only vintage wine, -vintage not nice, beer & vodka is the way to go
  • Talk softly and courteously the whole day long, - thats tiring
  • Never curses with words like “fuck”, - me only once in a blue moon
  • Opens the door for the lady, - im a lady, i open my own doors but im flattered if a guy does it
  • Pulls the chair for the lady, - thats where yr 15% service tax goes to lah..the waiter has to do it
  • Does not burp in public, - i try not to
  • Of course does not fart in public also - if its silent, who cares if its smelly, blame other ppl lor

I am UNCULTURED, and proud of it

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