my archilles heel

i swallowed my pride a few years back. i firmly believed that ppl shld live everyday as if it were their last. when i was a kid, i was always afraid that ppl that i cared abt would die. so, most of the time, i expressed exactly how i feel. so i told mike that i loved him.

why do i love him and so unconditionally? what is it in him that i dont see in others? how do u explain the reason for loving a man so much older? it cant be because of how he makes u feel, that would be selfish. it cant be because of how he looks, that would be superficial. so why and how did i manage to fall in love with him and so hard?

i cannot explain why i cant stop caring for this man who treats me so badly. im just pathetic, waiting for scraps of his affecction & free time.

mayb its just fate that im destined to forever feel this unrequited love. if there were a past live, i must have owed him a great deal that im repaying my debt to him in this life by suffering in his hands.

sometimes, i just wish to die, to stop myself frm yearning after him. he is a good man & im the nuisancee in his life. he has put up with me for so long. i wish to move on but i cant. why am i holding on to someone who causes me so much suffering?

How can it be

I told u I loved u
u said u cared for me
u held out yr arms to me
and i ask, how can it be
that u could love someone like me

i look into your eyes
and i see yr soul reflected
i trace your jawline affectionately
how can it be
that i finally found u

i hug u close
and close my eyes over the tears
dear god, let this moment last forever
how can it be
that eventually i had to let u go

i gave u my heart
i poured u my soul
i lovedd u unconditionally
how can it be
that u shred my love to pieces

my soul called out to yours
but there was no reply
u walkedd away
how can it be
for something so right to go wrong

i am alone
i am shattereed
after all this
how can it be
that i stil loved u unconditionally?

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