there's a grading today and last week sensei promised i could break 6 tiles. i set my mind to the 6 and today, he decreased my number to 3! i feel so humiliated and ashamed because i've broken 6 before. he decreased the number to 3 cos i was female.

i used to match the guys for knuckle push ups when they did 50. i would struggle but darn it i would finish the amount. now sensei announces females only need to do 20.

nowadays he insist that kumite is optional for female and tameshiwari females can request to do less tiles. here i am requesting for more tiles and he's decreasing mine

it used to be we sparred with males head on, now we hit the males but they arent allowed to hit us back.

i feel demotivated, i used to push myself to be on par with the guys but now, i'm going to give up soon. it's really frustrating.

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